Kids say, “It isn’t fair,” and they’re right.
Parents like to say, “It builds character,” and sometimes it does.
Victoria has negotiated the COVID pandemic with strength and resiliency. She has worked to protect her family and friends from illness as much as herself. She conquered remote learning. She was an enthusiastic home-school student. One year later, she re-acclimated to a new school with new students and has thrived. She is incredible. She is such a hard worker and is a high character kid. She is a empathetic, genuine, and kind person, and we couldn’t be more proud of her.
So when the chance finally came to celebrate her birthday properly – for the 1st time in 3 years – Christine and Keith wanted to do this celebration right. They aimed to set it up so that she would celebrate her birthday for a full week: Lia would come over for a 2-night sleep over on the 11th, the family would visit for a party on the 13th, she’d celebrate at school and home on the 16th, and she would have her first sleep over with Maddie at our house on the 19th and 20th. Victoria was so excited.
Then Lia had the flu on the 11th and the family party was postponed.
Then Maddie had tested positive for COVID only 10 minutes before arriving at our home.
Yesterday, Victoria sat on Keith’s lap and wept into his shoulder after receiving the news of Maddie’s illness.
When she is older, she’ll remember how disappointing this birthday week was.
We hope she also remembers how we didn’t let it stop us from trying. That Daddy came home early to greet her after school with a heart-shaped balloon. That we scheduled a new family party as soon as we could. That Lia came over for a long weekend sleepover soon after. That Maddie came over for a sleepover too. That when things didn’t go the way we planned, it didn’t mean that she didn’t get to enjoy an experience, but instead it meant that we only needed to work a little bit harder or wait a little bit longer before she was rewarded.
Most importantly, with the wisdom of age, we hope that she is able to look back on this last week and recognize that while there was conflict abroad, political angst at home, and a pandemic ravaging the world, she spent her 11th birthday comfortable, safe, and healthy in an unconditionally loving home.
The parties and the company would necessarily have to wait and that would be okay. It wasn’t the week-long birthday that she would have preferred, but we can only do the best that we can with the cards that we are dealt. Sometimes the outcomes are in our favor, other times they’re not. Sometimes the most important outcomes are the ones we take for granted. Oftentimes, we have neither the wisdom nor the experience to fully grasp it all in the moment.
This past Wednesday, she turned 11 years old. Yesterday the tears were real. So too were her father’s words: “I’m sorry, sweetie. I know that this doesn’t feel fair to you and that this is really disappointing. I wish that I could do something to make it better, but all I can do is tell you how much I love you and we’ll make sure that you have all these wonderful experiences that we had planned. They’ll just happen at times that you didn’t plan or expect.”
As she continued to sob, Keith couldn’t help but look out the window and quietly consider whose character was really being built after all.