You’ll rarely ever get credit for exercising restraint; people can’t see the things we don’t do. That’s okay. We do the right thing for the sake of the thing itself, not the sake of recognition. Greatness can be admired, but shouldn’t be sought; it is an external, a validation, and entirely outside my control. We are only great when compared to someone by someone else. Are they sufficiently wise? Probably not. What qualifies them to exercise judgement of me? Nothing. Strive for goodness over greatness. Think. Restrain. Steadfast. Fair. Today. Tomorrow. Always. The world will be better for it, even if it never knows it. This was the first memorial Day in quite a few years that I didn’t photograph the Fayetteville memorial Day parade. Not feeling it. Perhaps I should have forced myself to go. Perhaps not. I know I’m in a low point/trough right now, but going there […]
Why am I scared of heights? It is unclear. What is clear is that I didn’t ask for that fear, nor any of the others. Nor did I ask for any of my confidences, although I am appreciative of them. Freedom isn’t the dis-encumberment of action. Freedom isn’t the what we do, it is the why we do it. Even if I conquered my fear of heights, I could only DO something I couldn’t have done before. My physical ability to climb a ladder has no bearing on why I might want to climb a ladder to begin with. Avoidance is just failure by another name. “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” (Babe Ruth) “We may have lost the battle but not the war.” (Charles de Gaulle) “If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds.” (Jesse Jackson) […]
First and foremost, do well and be good for all. Think. Restrain. Steadfast. Fair. Serenity may follow. Or not, I can’t be certain. But is there serenity in irrationality? Excess? Cowardice? Inequity? Of course not; this I can be certain of. Improvisational Problem Solving: Not, “That would work, but …”, rather “Okay, and how do we tackle (insert obstacle here)”. Think. Restrain. Steadfast. Fair Edison is credited with saying, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Process over outcome. Fail, learn, adapt, adjust. Continue to fail upward. Ascension through failure. We have a choice: fail to ascend or fail to ascend. Do not fear failure, it is necessary. Learn from failures and mistakes. Adapt and adjust. Grow. Fail again, but differently. Adapt and adjust again. Grow more. Fail yet again, but still differently. Repeat. Be courageous. Or don’t. I could have mowed the lawn today. […]
It is conventionally thought that Yoda is saying that “doing” is necessarily successful, merely “trying” is tantamount failure. “Do or do not. There is no Try.” Yoda is wrong. Although trying isn’t necessarily doing, doing is trying. Do what? All that I am capable of. I can only learn if I do my best. Sometimes it is enough to achieve a desired outcome, other times it is not. There is no failure in trying, unless – of course – I fail to learn from the experience. Commit to trying your best or else don’t waste your time (out anyone else’s). There is nothing you (or anyone else) can learn in failure from a half-assed effort. When I reflect on my choices at the end of the day, I exclusively think of how I did right or harmed others, not myself. I’m a person too. Eat well. Move more. Be good […]
Temperance/moderation: I suck and need to be better. less food. Less of everything. Stay rational. Stay kind. Speak and do the uncomfortable when it is right. I’m getting better. I didn’t yell, but I didn’t hide my frustration, either. I recovered quickly, but shouldn’t need to recover. I need to check my feelings of frustration sooner. I need to start thinking of intrapersonal conflicts as a thing. Me today seems in conflict with me tomorrow, or next month. Temperance continues to be a problem, especially at night when I’m most tired, weak, and often lonely. I need to sleep better and stay in the house less. Reason, temperance, courage, justice. Think, refrain, steadfast, and fair. Be equally as kind to tomorrow’s you and you are to others. He will be a person too. Is it reasonable to expect that everyone know what I know? Of course not. Is it their […]
I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. We’ve heard it before – if we haven’t said it ourselves – and it is a damned lie. No one has the power to damn you and you have always have the power to choose. You might not like the result, but the outcome is one that you can live with if you harness your own real power to think clearly and act in accordance with your values. The outcome is in the effort, of course. You assemble your life yourself – action by action. Be satisfied when each action works to whatever magnitude it can and let no one steal that from you. And while there will be obvious barriers to your success, remember that there are no obstacles that can prevent you from acting with justice, self-control, and good sense. To the contrary, if you accept the barriers […]
Imagine a chef asks you to go to the market. They tell you how important it is that you not miss anything; they want everything to taste perfect. They ask you to obtain flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt, milk, butter, and eggs. Even if you were a chef yourself, the list alone can’t possibly tell you what they are making. Once you’ve arrived to the market, should you acquire all-purpose flour? Whole wheat? Bread, pastry, or cake? Should you reach for granulated or confectioners sugar? Table, kosher, or sea salt? Does the type of milk matter? Should the salt be buttered or not? What brands do they prefer? What size packaging? If you make a list, (1) don’t forget to put everything on it and (2) remember that details and precision matter. If you receive a list from someone else, remind yourself the list is theirs, not yours. […]
We used to say, “we’ll let the history books decide,” but I don’t know that to be true any longer. After nearly 80 years of cooperation to maintain a post-WWII peace in the Western world, the allegiance between the United States and its European partners seems to be coming to an end. A historian yesterday said that this is unprecedented in history: A country purposefully tearing down a thing it had invested so much energy in building and constructing. He said that relationships often implode from internal pressures or succumb to external forces/pressures, but never has a country just elected to so dramatically change course. In the matter of one month, the United States has decided to ignore a free trade deal with its neighbors to the north and south, withdrawn from the World Health Organization, ceased sending international aide, and simultaneously cozied up to an authoritarian regime in Russia […]
“Holding a grudge is like shitting your own pants and hoping someone else [has to sit in it] … “Don’t you see? Don’t you see what you’re doing to me?” but you are doing it entirely on your own.– Neal Brennan, Blocks podcast with Bill Fitzsimmons I did the right thing. It was – without a doubt – the right call to make. I told him to cover his ass and protect himself, and he did. Not everyone saw it that way, of course. A few weeks later the chart was pulled for review by the payor, the agency was refunding the insurance company, and he was singled out for “not doing us any favors”. I proceeded to have his back. Less that 72 hours later, I was informed that I was under “investigation” for compensating my staff unfairly for their work. Within a week, my staff was receiving calls […]