I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. We’ve heard it before – if we haven’t said it ourselves – and it is a damned lie. No one has the power to damn you and you have always have the power to choose. You might not like the result, but the outcome is one that you can live with if you harness your own real power to think clearly and act in accordance with your values. The outcome is in the effort, of course. You assemble your life yourself – action by action. Be satisfied when each action works to whatever magnitude it can and let no one steal that from you. And while there will be obvious barriers to your success, remember that there are no obstacles that can prevent you from acting with justice, self-control, and good sense. To the contrary, if you accept the barriers […]
Imagine a chef asks you to go to the market. They tell you how important it is that you not miss anything; they want everything to taste perfect. They ask you to obtain flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt, milk, butter, and eggs. Even if you were a chef yourself, the list alone can’t possibly tell you what they are making. Once you’ve arrived to the market, should you acquire all-purpose flour? Whole wheat? Bread, pastry, or cake? Should you reach for granulated or confectioners sugar? Table, kosher, or sea salt? Does the type of milk matter? Should the salt be buttered or not? What brands do they prefer? What size packaging? If you make a list, (1) don’t forget to put everything on it and (2) remember that details and precision matter. If you receive a list from someone else, remind yourself the list is theirs, not yours. […]
We used to say, “we’ll let the history books decide,” but I don’t know that to be true any longer. After nearly 80 years of cooperation to maintain a post-WWII peace in the Western world, the allegiance between the United States and its European partners seems to be coming to an end. A historian yesterday said that this is unprecedented in history: A country purposefully tearing down a thing it had invested so much energy in building and constructing. He said that relationships often implode from internal pressures or succumb to external forces/pressures, but never has a country just elected to so dramatically change course. In the matter of one month, the United States has decided to ignore a free trade deal with its neighbors to the north and south, withdrawn from the World Health Organization, ceased sending international aide, and simultaneously cozied up to an authoritarian regime in Russia […]
“Holding a grudge is like shitting your own pants and hoping someone else [has to sit in it] … “Don’t you see? Don’t you see what you’re doing to me?” but you are doing it entirely on your own.– Neal Brennan, Blocks podcast with Bill Fitzsimmons I did the right thing. It was – without a doubt – the right call to make. I told him to cover his ass and protect himself, and he did. Not everyone saw it that way, of course. A few weeks later the chart was pulled for review by the payor, the agency was refunding the insurance company, and he was singled out for “not doing us any favors”. I proceeded to have his back. Less that 72 hours later, I was informed that I was under “investigation” for compensating my staff unfairly for their work. Within a week, my staff was receiving calls […]
“If joy for you is only possible when things are going amazing, your joy or your happiness is therefore out of your hands … If joy and happiness are dependent on external circumstances, how good is it? … How fragile [is it]?” Ryan Holiday on TKP (11/26) At nearly the same time last year, I was back aboard the Stoic-wagon delving into the writings of some of my favorite ancient philosophers yet again. That wagon might have continued along on the same path, but I have long since fallen off and it has been many, many months since it has been in view. That isn’t to say that I don’t have my virtuous moments any given day. My ability to reason through a problem and parse out what I do (and more importantly don’t) have control of remains a strength. Establishing realistic expectations while bearing in mind that only a […]
When I went in for my annual physical exam with Dr Kaplan this past winter, I was asked to complete a depression questionnaire, a PHQ-10. I already knew the score before I walked in and was already prepared to have the conversation. I had been feeling really low for a few months and things were not getting better. I am familiar with the PHQ, and my baseline misanthropic nihilism keeps me between a 1-3 most of the time. Things were feeling worse than they had in a while, though, and I was planning to ask for help. This was the worst that I had felt since my thyroid condition and something needed to change. I wasn’t scared this time, though. The thyroid-thing was really, really scary. Back then, I was having thoughts that I really didn’t want to have. The darkest of thoughts. This time, I was just feeling painfully […]
Striving. I am always and constantly striving. Even when my body is stil, my mind is busy. Thinking. Contemplating. Debating. Considering. Strategizing. The gears are in constant motion. What do I need to do? Where am I succeeding? Where am I falling short? What can I control? What can I influence? What does that mean for me and my goals? Are my goals realistic? Are they just? Do I need to adapt? What do I need to change? The goal or the plan? In this manner, I am failing all the time. I fail to be the husband that I want to be. I fail to be the parent that my children most fully deserve. I fail to be as effective as I need to be for the agency to achieve a 5-star rating. I fail to maintain friendships. I fail to lose weight. I fail to stay in ideal […]
“… an argument in which a party asserts that a relatively small first step leads to a chain of related events culminating in some significant (usually negative) effect … an attempt to discourage someone from taking a course of action because if they do it will lead to some unacceptable conclusion.” Wikipedia I occasionally listen to talk radio to test my critical thinking. Contrary to what my father thinks, I am not a bleeding heart liberal. I continue to hold moderate to libertarian-leaning views on a range of topics, but what they are is not important because they are fungible. More important than my views are my values, under-girded by a pragmatic philosophical foundation that is secular, naturalistic, and humanist. It is the pragmatist in me that likes to listen to ideas that sometimes diverge from my own to challenge my own thinking. It was on a ride home the […]
I have learned a lesson this summer that I hope I don’t forget, and I should probably begin to apply it more generally as well. For too long, I have missed out on opportunities while I wait for the right- … no, make that the perfect-moment. When I want to go on vacation, I wait until the last minute to see how the weather will be. When I decide to wake up and go out with my camera, I look at the forecast first. I won’t even watch a movie at home until I find 2+ consecutive hours to watch it. I wait until the time is right and hope the stars align and they rarely ever do. This last month, though, the best moments have been imperfect. The trip to PA with Austin was forecast to have oppressive temperatures and we went anyway; we adapted and had a great […]