“What is essential as you become an adult is … you have to refine the ability to hold two contradictory ideas in your mind at the same time without it driving you crazy.” Bruce Springsteen I have always stressed to both Austin and Victoria that there is no such thing as an unhealthy food, only unhealthy behaviors. To say that something is good or bad is easy but usually wrong. Instead, much more has to be considered, because only very, very rarely in life is anything wholly good or bad. Most of what we engage with in life lies somewhere in the “in-between” … the proverbial gray area. But when powered by our biases, binary-thinking is tempting. It is easier. Dare I say it feels most natural? I wonder if it has something to do with evolution, heuristics, and the free energy principle, but if I think it might be […]
I should have expected there to be a confusion. A line out the door. Workers bustling. Visitors filled with expectation, excitement, and enthusiasm. After signing up to receive my vaccine for COVID-19, I knew better. When I received a notice that I could sign-up for the vaccine – only 2 days after the first vaccination in all of CNY – I was in the working in the field and needed to wait nearly 2.5 hours to sign-up. I was hoping that I would get a chance to register in time to be able to get a spot, much less one that would fit in my pre-holiday schedule. Imagine my surprise when I logged in and discovered that I could schedule for any and every time-slot that had been made available. Imagine my disappointment when I arrived to a near empty parking lot at 0800 and discovered that I was one […]
I knew it. The moment that I saw it, I knew what was happening and what was going to happen. It was transparently manipulative and disingenuous, and it was going to backfire. One week ago, Andrew Cuomo presented data at his press conference that indicated that 74% of COVID transmissions could be traced to ‘Household/Social Gatherings”. The only other known transmissions that featured data points above 2% were healthcare settings and higher education. It fit his narrative … the same narrative that he has been (rightly) repeating for months: Don’t congregate. There was a glaring problem, however: his data didn’t add up. Firstly, it was disingenuous to combine the transmissions of household spread and social gatherings. We already had data on household spread when the virus wasn’t at it’s peak: throughout the summer and early fall, Onondaga County consistently provided information about how the virus was being transmitted and 20-40% […]
I was considering what it would mean should I not be able to run 13.1 miles on October 11, as I had planned in the early summer, and I came across a question: Can there be failure in the presence of sincere effort? I don’t think so; certainly not in the way that we consider failure as a failing or shortcoming of the individual. I am of the mind to think that any specific objective that I set for myself lies somewhere on continuum of possibility. Sometimes I am aware of – and appreciate – the factors that impact the likelihood of my success, while at other times I do or can not. In the Star Wars film, The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda famously says to Luke: “Do or do not. There is no try.” It sounds good, especially in the context of a culture that encourages and expects the […]
Since I was 21 years of age, I have been pulled over 6 times for speeding, yet not once have I received a ticket for a moving infraction. Here is how I do it: Step 1: Don’t get pulled over by a trooper. Step 2: (I happened upon this one by accident, the first time I was pulled over, and have continued since) Unbuckle my belt so I give them something to cite me for that won’t cost me points. Step 3: (If it is dark) Turn on the dome light of it is dark so they can see in my car as they approach Step 4: No surprises … open up the glove box so they can see what is (and isn’t inside). Step 5: Place my cards on the dash in clear site Step 6: Place my hands at 10 and 2. Step 7: I only move when […]
I don’t usually ‘get’ poetry, but sometimes poetry – somehow – gets me. SINGULARITY(after Stephen Hawking) Do you sometimes want to wake up to the singularity we once were? so compact nobody needed a bed, or food or money — nobody hiding in the school bathroom or home alone pulling open the drawer where the pills are kept. For every atom belonging to me as good Belongs to you. Remember? There was no Nature. No them. No tests to determine if the elephant grieves her calf or if the coral reef feels pain. Trashed oceans don’t speak English or Farsi or French; would that we could wake up to what we were — when we were ocean and before that to when sky was earth, and animal was energy, and rock was liquid and stars were space and space was not at all — nothing before we came to believe […]
There she is. Have I told you? I met her on my only blind date. I saw her and walked over right away, introduced myself, and asked her if I could visit her again that night. When she said that I could, I drove back to town and got all the money I had to buy her an engagement ring. We’ve been married for 67 years. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’m the luckiest man alive. He is almost 90 years old. He can’t get out of a chair by himself. He can’t walk without hunching forward over a walker with severe pain in his legs and hands. He has trouble feeding himself. There she is. Have I told you? I met her on my only blind date. I saw her and walked over right away, introduced myself, and asked her if I could visit her […]
I recently listened to a podcast on happiness on The Knowledge Project that featured best selling author Neil Pasricha, who – it turns out – is a pretty successful guy. Apparently, he makes a living out of telling people how he became happy (despite the unhappiness that must accompany a degree from Harvard and a successful career) and helping them learn how to be happy too. I am skeptical when someone tells you how to achieve something that each person struggles to define. For instance, love is something that we feel, but something that is hard to pin-down. Even so, there are variations of love. I love my wife differently than I do my kids, than I do my parents, than I do my brother. How I experience love is likely different than how it is experienced by others. My love for Christine probably varies significantly from how Christine loves […]
I know that I am depressed. And no, I’m not being mellow-dramatic … I just am. I have little motivation to do anything. I sleep like shit. I have a hard time mustering the energy to do things that I usually enjoy. I drink a little too much; I eat way too much. I can’t convince myself to walk or hike, much less exercise. I’m lonely. My PHQ-9 score is 15, which according to one website means: “moderately severe depression; patients typically should have immediate initiation of pharmacotherapy and/or psychotherapy.” Been there. Done that. I’m not worried. I’ll get better. It seems that I always do. Besides, I’ve been much, much worse. This too shall pass. . . . . I laid on the air mattress this morning for 2 hours before Christine’s alarm sounded; it was finally an acceptable time for me to rise, put my air-bed against the […]