The Blog

It has been my experience that people don’t get it; they cannot have it both ways. Since Austin was a much younger boy, people have often remarked (to both Christine and myself) how well-behaved he is. They marvel at his politeness and responsiveness to redirection; they are also surprised at my firm, immediate and sometimes stern responses to his occasional behavioral missteps. Sometimes they may lack the courage to speak, but find the guile to gaze in my direction with a look of disapproving consternation. “You should be a little easier on him…” others will say, but they do not understand: the boy who plays so nicely, is so sweet to his friends and listens to directions so well is (in part) the product of the parenting attitudes and techniques that they find so distressing. One of those techniques has been to never let him know what a consequence may […]

I never fell in love with New Jersey; I could never settle down there. Real estate is over-priced and even the clean air smells bad. This is (of course) a direct result of being the most densely populated state in the country. Simply put: New Jersey is filled with too many people, and I loathe people, thus my desire to always live somewhere else. Others are often surprised/confused when they learn that I hate people. They inevitably ask, “How could you be a physical therapist if you don’t like people?” This is simple, of course, because I chose a profession that allows me to work with one person at a time. I appreciate persons; they intrigue and fascinate me. I can relate to a person; people I cannot. So while Christine and the kids are in New Jersey this week, I will happily be at home and there will not […]

Austin will be attending kindergarten in just over one month and (as he steps on the bus for the first time) Christine and I will certainly share in a moment of reflection: wondering on one hand where the time has gone and how lucky we are in the other. Having already departed for school, the next morning will be the first Thursday in over two years that Austin will not run to the front door to wave “Hello” and yell, “Good Morning!” to the town DPW-workers who come to the house for garbage pick-up. Now, after a 2 year relationship, they look for him when they turn the corner and each gentleman makes an effort to wave back, often shouting a greeting back over the noisy truck in turn. On the best days, the truck fills up and Austin gets to watch it compact from the front door. Even on […]

There is nothing quite so disheartening as a county fair in rural upstate New York. Nestled in the beautiful hills in Madison County is a small fairgrounds with a simple “grandstand” (ironically named for its lack of grandeur) and a fireman’s barbeque building. The remaining grounds are usually bare. For one weekend every year, however, the fairgrounds come to life and buzz with activity. The grounds become filled with midway games and concessions while the grandstand is filled at night for the demolition derby (featuring local heros who decide to put their lives at risk for bragging rights and a $300 prize). It was the demolition derby that has drawn us to these same fairgrounds each of the last 3 years. After all, there is something about 10 or more cars in a series of collisions that makes a young boy smile from ear-to-ear, bringing us back year-after-year. It is […]

There are times that we might be frustrated by our ineffectiveness as parents. This week Austin bit a friend, used the word “crap”, continued his occasionally bossy ways, did not always share well with his friends and could not keep his voice at a reasonable volume while indoors (AT ALL). Despite all of our efforts to the contrary, he still needs prompting to do what we perceive as the right thing, at the right time, in the right way. But when his sister was crying at the dinner table and refusing to eat her meal yesterday, it was Austin who softly asked his father , “Can I try to feed her, please, Daddy?” Sure, there is always more work to be done. But in moments like these we take heart at how privileged we are to call these children our own.

I was proud of him the other day; he knew exactly what I was asking for. He had gone to his first “big boy” birthday party (you know, parents drop off their kids instead of staying to watch – a welcome advancement, by the way) and we were leaving the other boy’s home when I asked Austin, “Did you express your gratitude to Scott [the boy’s father] for being so kind to you today?” Austin turned to Scott and replied, “Thank you, Scott, for inviting me to the party, for the food and for letting me play on the bounce house.” Not bad for a 4-year-old, right? Now, let’s fast forward a little to last night: while eating dinner, he wanted Christine to place some more noodles on his plate in a specific place. Austin: Put it here. Me: Hey…stop being bossy. Austin: I’m not, Daddy. I am just telling […]

Linus’s blanket was inspired by the blankets that my first three children dragged around the house.” —Charles M. Schulz Much like her brother before her, Victoria has a security blanket too: She has pink and purple blankets, and a white blanket too. But our lovely little lady? Only baby-boy-blue will do. Is it the length of the tassels? Is it’s texture just right? No matter. She rests. She grins. She sleeps all night.

Imagine for a moment a strange and unfamiliar world where everyone understands that a penny saved is a penny earned; there is value in sweat equity. Everyone knows to do the job right, the first time. Humility is the gold standard and people understand that they are not entitled to anything; they are motivated to earn everything. Being a good neighbor does not mean that you are always there, only that you are always there when needed. Every parent understands that the interests of their children are paramount. Every child understands that there is a difference between being unique and being special. Each student is encouraged to spread their wings, but is reminded that a career choice should have value to their community, not just themselves. Every child watches/discusses today’s news in the home with his/her family, affording them the knowledge to avoid repeating histories mistakes and learning from histories […]

Victoria is becoming more expressive; at 14 months of age she is beginning to find ways to communicate with us through speech. Most often, she says, “MaMa,” calling for Mommy. She will often call the dog, “Hah-Hee,” when she sees him across the room or when Harvey is licking food out of the hand she dangles from her high chair. When she wants to be lifted from the floor, she pulls on our pant legs, “Uh. Uh.” She is asking for “Maa,” and says, “an ooo,” when she gets what she asks for. (more and thank you, respectively) She calls Austin, “Bra,” (for brother) and her favorite blanket, “Ba.” As her vocabulary continues to expand, there is nothing that can melt this father’s heart more than walking in the door after a long day, looking at her excited smile and hearing, “Hi Da-dee.” Well, nothing except the kiss she blows […]