I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
We’ve heard it before – if we haven’t said it ourselves – and it is a damned lie. No one has the power to damn you and you have always have the power to choose. You might not like the result, but the outcome is one that you can live with if you harness your own real power to think clearly and act in accordance with your values.
The outcome is in the effort, of course.
You assemble your life yourself – action by action. Be satisfied when each action works to whatever magnitude it can and let no one steal that from you. And while there will be obvious barriers to your success, remember that there are no obstacles that can prevent you from acting with justice, self-control, and good sense. To the contrary, if you accept the barriers and work with what you are given, an alterative [to inaction] will present itself – another piece of what you are trying to assemble. Action by action.
[paraphrased] from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, Book 8.32
To say that you are damned either way is a disempowering and pernicious call to inaction and an overture for the status quo. It is a plea to not choose. It is an appeal for you to freeze. To stagnate. To languish. It is an excuse to fail.
The antidote to failure is effort. All you need to do is try. Did you try? To the best of your ability, despite the barriers, obstacles, and challenges that were laid before you? Did you do so in manner that was consistent with your values? If so, then you successfully added another piece to you and you can be satisfied.
Now what? What’s next?