2020 is over and there have been a few more casualties.
I knew that I would lose touch with some folks when I started to remove myself from social media. I had an assortment of “friends” that I wanted to remain in touch with … many had been forged in person but some were exclusively online.
The first year of my email-only experiment went fairly well and I received replies and positive feedback from almost all of the 20+ people that I tried to stay in touch with. This year, that number has reduced considerably.
There were a couple of folks that I adore and usually see in person 2-3 times per year. COVID squashed my travels and busy-ness probably squashed any time that they might have had to reply to my emails.
There were 2 other folks on other sides of world who I shared so, so much with over my SoMe years … those emails – sadly – have not received replies after I (desperately?) sent 2-3 messages into digital void.
There were 2 folks that I was never really tight with, but I had worked with them for so long that I was hoping to stay in touch. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
Still – there are a few friends who still want to be my digital pen-pal, and I am thankful for their engagement. There is also a burgeoning friendship with a former-colleague who I have met after work a few times after my departure from his workplace. There is my brother, who has had to put up with my neuroses as a home-schooling co-teacher, yet our bond has endured. There is my older “brother” on the east coast who I don’t see too often, but we are in touch more days than not and I think my life would be a more lonely place without them. And then there are those who have engaged with me via text message.
There are 4 of us in a group chat … all 3 of them are on my email list, but I don’t think I’ve sent them an email in over a year. I don’t have to; we are sending each other a few notes/messages every few days and it is great. We are using text messaging the same as I would have used FB messenger and it has been a highlight of my year. Another friend and I have been emailing, but seemed to recognize that an occasional/random text message is okay once in a while too.
I am tempted to say that there is a lesson that I can learn about texting versus emailing, but I think it is an illusion. Granted, there is a chance that engaging via text yields mostly-stronger relationships because we communicate more frequently and in shorter bits when there isn’t the same sense of investment required. There is also a (greater?) chance that the folks that I am most inclined to stay in touch with more likely to engage with me via text messaging. In the end, there probably isn’t much to learn … I simply text message with the people that I am more inclined to be closer to.
In the end, I expect 2021 to be the same as 2020 … my friend list will be pruned further still. I remain an introverted administrator at a smallish-business with few interests that are shared by the larger community who still refuses to engage on SoMe. That is not a recipe for meeting new people. Meanwhile, I will remain hyper-local and avoid travel for another year due to COVID while my friend’s lives will continue to be full of things that will act as barriers to our continued communications. This year, like last, will see me lose a few friends.
That only means that this year won’t be different than any other.