2 days ago, we were walking Adeline throughout the neighborhood; I told her that this was as good as its gonna get:
- The daily positive cases from community spread are between 10-20 in Onondaga County, with it’s population of 450,000 people.
- The hospitalizations have leveled off – 50-60 people are in the hospital at any given time for COVID-related care.
- 25-33% of hospitalized patients are typically in critical care. This has been the case for the last 3 weeks.
There is a little variance here and there, but this is what we can now expect pre-re-opening.
She asked me what I thought about it all.
I told her that if we didn’t stop distancing in the home now, I don’t see a circumstance when we would. I’m going to continue to see patients. The community numbers will worsen with the phased re-opening of the local economy (to what extent, we don’t know). She is going to start going out a little more eventually. If not now, when? But still, this isn’t a decision that I can make alone.
In a small minority of people, this COVID-thing is a mother-fucker. There are 100+ cases of kids developing a really nasty inflammatory disorder. There are scores of folks in their 40s who have been hospitalized. And yeah – I am a compulsive germ-freak at work in the community, but my eyes aren’t covered all the time. They can’t be. There is a chance (albeit small) that I can’t control for all the routes of exposure and I fall ill and bring it home. With the help of some friends, I’ve read and discussed this a lot. I think I know as much as I can about this thing, but this is a decision that we need to make together.
I turned the same question she asked me back to her: “What do you think?”
“I guess it should be okay, I think.”
That is a non-answer.
“No, it isn’t.”
Yes it is.
“How?”
Imagine we are in college and we’re making out and I ask if we can have sex, and you say to me, ‘I guess it should be okay, I think.’ Is that consent?
“No, I guess not.”
Exactly.
She didn’t say anything else, and I didn’t press the issue. I fear that she’ll cave and defer to me if I ask for an answer, so instead I am waiting. If and when she is ready, she’ll let me know.
I watched television from the far side of the room that night. I said good night to my kids at distance that night. I slept alone on the air mattress that night.
I watched television from the far side of the room last night. I said good night to my kids at distance last night. I slept alone on the air mattress last night.
I’m not sure when any of this will change, but she’ll need to consent before it does.