I keep saying that I am going to do things differently, but I rarely do.
I started running again this early summer, then quit when I developed symptoms related to a neuroma.
I have started a diet on a few occasions in the last few months, but it never sticks.
At best I am ambivalent. At worst, depressed. I don’t know and – frankly – it probably doesn’t matter. Of course, my saying so probably resolves some of the ambiguity surrounding my inability to enact any degree of sustainable change.
There has been a myriad of excuses, but none of them carry any legitimacy.
I do know what sustains me, and this – whatever THIS is – ain’t doing it.
So, I gotta do something.
I have been revisiting some philosophy again – listening to Stoic Meditations nearly every day and contemplating more purposefully not so much about what I want from my life, but how I want to be in it.
I am tired of things as they are. I am less engaged than I used to be … be it in thought or activity.
I’ve stagnated.
I wonder how much of me needs to be creative. Stimulated. Challenged. Pushed. Expanded.
I have 30 minutes every day to do more of this and I am going to see what I can do with it.
Empty words, after all, are still healthier than empty carbs.