This is another in a series of reflections on the content of my favorite podcast of 2021: episode 110 of The Knowledge Project with Jim Collins.
You need to decide: what is your opening bid when you are establishing a relationship with someone, when you are interacting with the world. Is your opening bid to assume trust? To assume that someone is trust-worthy and to grant them the full benefits of that? …
Um, no? I really cannot think of an instance when I have trusted someone. Many people in the world are jerks. Even more are inconsiderate. A ridiculously percentage of us are horribly irrational. To start with an opening bid of trust, in spite of such considerations, is itself irrational.
… Or is your opening bid to not trust, but the the trust can be earned? So many aspects of your life will be affected by which fork on that you take. That is a stance on life … Some people will abuse that trust … You don’t leave yourself exposed to a catastrophe, but … there is far more upside in an opening bid of trust and there is far more downside in an opening bid of mistrust. …
Ah, okay – we are not encouraged to expose our deepest and most darkest secrets. No, those things can hurt us.
In this manner, an opening bid isn’t of absolute trust. It isn’t (to use a poker metaphor) going-all-in before you look at the flop, but it is a gesture. The bid of trust is a signal to another person that you are willing to bring something valuable to this relationship (a catalyst, perhaps?). The hope is that if we start with a bid of trust, the other person will too, and that 2 people starting with a bid of trust will develop and grow a relationship faster without the constraints of trust-building.
Trust is capital. We can store all our trust inside our mattress, or we can invest it. Imagine if we knew we would lose $10,000 to 9 different people but that 1 in every 10 relationships would lead to a $1,000,000 return on investment. Wouldn’t we be foolish not to trust? To not trust at all is actually an extreme form of loss aversion. It is a choice that cuts you off from risk, but – perhaps more importantly – ultimately cuts you off from the possibility of reward.
… It all goes to the question of people … The very, very best people will respond to the bid of trust. The best people will be attracted to that and you want the best people to be attracted … Your opening bid effects how people behave. If you trust people you are more likely that they will act in a trustworthy way. So it’s a double win. It’s the best people and they’ll behave in a trustworthy way. The flip side is if you have an opening bid of mistrust, the best people will not be attracted to that.