It is conventionally thought that Yoda is saying that “doing” is necessarily successful, merely “trying” is tantamount failure. “Do or do not. There is no Try.” Yoda is wrong. Although trying isn’t necessarily doing, doing is trying.
Do what? All that I am capable of. I can only learn if I do my best. Sometimes it is enough to achieve a desired outcome, other times it is not. There is no failure in trying, unless – of course – I fail to learn from the experience.
Commit to trying your best or else don’t waste your time (out anyone else’s). There is nothing you (or anyone else) can learn in failure from a half-assed effort.
When I reflect on my choices at the end of the day, I exclusively think of how I did right or harmed others, not myself. I’m a person too. Eat well. Move more. Be good to yourself.
I confess to being envious of the fitness level at the race today. I was there 5 years ago. Neuromas won’t allow me to get there again, but they can’t stop from eating well, moving more, or sitting less.
“Plans are nothing. Planning is everything.”
Dwight S Eisenhower
I loved a conversation that I had with Victoria about this quote from Eisenhower. She made the distinction between having a fixed plan that seemed good at the onset (but probably won’t work in the moment) and being flexible and having the ability to adjust as is required for success. Yes!
A plan is a noun, a thing we create with limited information available to us at a given time. Planning is a verb, an action, constantly updating. Planning is evolution.
Work doesn’t give life meaning. Sisyphus had a job to do, but his work is meaningless. Life’s goal? Find purpose and give my work meaning. My purpose? To leave the world a better place. My impact? Hyperlocal. My role? Father, brother, son, co-worker, community member. My means? Think, refrain, steadfast, and fair.
Everyone has their own narrative, a story they tell themselves; they are the main character and protagonist.
Most people view themselves on a stage with everyone watching. Au contraire. We are the kids in the back of the room playing with our dolls and action figures. Some kids yell louder and draw incidental attention more than others, but most go unnoticed and are indistinguishable from one another.
The worst case scenario is that I age to be poor and lonely, I can tolerate the former much more easily than the latter.
I have no control over it. I can influence, but can’t control if I live so long. if the markets are in my favor for the next 25 years, if Christine remains happy and healthy. If she doesn’t, if I were to meet someone else. I wield so little control over any of it. I’m Jack on the how of the ship, as Eagleman would say.
“Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing we do really matters in the long run, but we need purpose. We strive for more than survival. What is it? To collect objects? To earn power or money? To accumulate friends? To be happy? No. Those things are nice to have, but no. Make a positive difference in the world. A tiny difference in a minuscule area in a wee fraction of time.
Think. Restrain. Steadfast. Fair.
There are no prizes for good people, only things they do that please someone else.
Striving to be a good person isn’t about winning. Life’s isn’t a game. Even if it were, the winner wouldn’t be determined by the greatest number of points scored, but rather how they scored the points they did.
Practicing stoicism in today’s world in akin to playing solitaire in a casino.
The objective should never to be to have a positive life, but rather to live a good one. Think. Restrain. Steadfast. Fair. Process over outcomes.
How to enjoy a movie: Will I arrive in time if I have car troubles, there is an accident preventing my travels, or the weather is poor? Do I have control over the behavior of the audience around me? Can I get comfortable in the seats? How cool/warm is the theater and an I prepared for both? Is my thyroid functioning properly? Did I drink enough or too much before? Is the theater appropriately staffed? Are the concessions well prepared? Can I purchase a ticket if someone picks my pocket or if the credit card reader is malfunctioning and I am without cash? Am I even selecting a good movie?
The aim of life is to live well. Awareness is required but only entirely available if I step outside myself to see the world as it is, not how it seems like to be.
Think. Restrain. Steadfast. Fair. Process over outcome.
Absolute safety is an illusion. Look both ways and cross the busy street when the time is right; don’t decide to never cross it. Cross safely knowing you still might sprain an ankle.
What feels unsafe? Circumstances that are feared. What do I fear? Change and lack of control. What do I control? Only my perception of my circumstance and my response to it. Fear and anxiety are incompatible with reason and harmful to my character. Be as courageous defending yourself from harm as you would your family.
What is safety? Insulation from harm. What harms us? Only that which we allow to harm us. What is unsafe? Usually, nothing.
Creativity is the mind processing without constraints.
On catastrophization:
- I am triggered at the prospect of being alone.
- It never helps. It is a distortion. It clouds reason and judgement with the strongest of emotions (e.g. panic) and a fight or flight mindset.
- One day, it will happen. But – to date – nothing that I have ever feared so greatly as to result in a state of frenzy/panic has ever come true. What did I do to stop it from happening? Nothing … Such things have never been under my control. So why panic at all?
- I need to work to listen more, even when I’m uncomfortable with the distortions that I’m hearing from others in distress
- The worst fear I ever had was when I find a lump under my arm and feared cancer had traveled to my lymph nodes. Cancer from where? At the age of 19? Of course not.
- Hold caution in one hand while you let go of fear in the other.
- That thing that I fear: Is it something that no other person has ever endured? Has no one else ever overcome it? They have? Then there is a path forward.
- That thing I have to do can be scary. Have I really thought it through? With reason over emotion? And the path is just? Then proceed with courage. Don’t freeze with fear. Act with prudence and caution.